ga kerasa uda mau sebulan loh...
dari panas2an viewing... sempet juga kehujanan
keluar masuk looking for flat..
dari yang berasa ga ada yang bagus sampe berasa bagus* semuanya...
*mostly coz too tired and everything looks the same

senengnya pas akhirnya nemu yang di suka juga ama semuanya..
munculnya khayalan2 design for each room
diskusi2 menyenangkan dengan designer...
angin segar dari designer tentang ini itu
serasa berjalan di atas awan..

well...
reality struck

that's when money knock on your door...

semuanya pake uang... dan ga ada yang namanya bagus dan murah
well... at least not until u saw what money can buy
mulai hari penuh tekanan..
mulai hilang satu2 gambaran rumah idaman...
lom lagi masalah yang datang silih berganti...

luckily... i am loved...
banyak yang ngedukung
banyak yang ngebantu
emang semua ga berjalan smoothly... ada kalanya kita berantem
ada kalanya nangis2an

titik terang mulai kelihatan...
like a puzzle.. pelan2 mulai ketemua matching pairnya...

and now...

udah mau selesai loh ^ ^

~dee~

i am not ok
simple thing can upset me
for no reason i can get irritated
don't ask me why, coz i dunno the answer
blame the hormone
blame my period
ball is in your hand
coz i really don't have the answer

i am mad at you over a video clip
clip that are supposed to teach us 'bout love and humanity
i am mad at myself for not remembering that i am not talking to you coz of the clip, and called you first

i got irritated coz the connection was down
u can't call me and we can't chat as well
i got upset coz you can't call me and by the time you called my mood spoiled already and i was so irritated.

i feel like slapping my sister coz she is on the call with her bf now
talking so loudly (at least i felt that way) that made me want to bang my head

i don't want to be ungrateful
i want to be able to enjoy what i have
but why can't i see what i have?

i know i have you
i know you love me
than what?
unlike those romance movies, which end when they live happily ever after
my live has continuation
live still goes on
i crave for more...

i know you are not my punchbag
i know you are not my garbage bag
i know you have feeling too
still... i am mad at you

i am so mad now coz with the current connection, my post will/will not be posted
even though it was posted... will you read it without me telling you...

arghhhhh... i am so upset

~dee~

i am sorry..

adut.. i am sorry..
i am ok
lately emang lagi capek aja..
dikejar2 kerjaan..
but still can manage.

love u..
-dee-

i have been looking
really lookin
every corner
all places

tapi tetep ga nemu...

dah coba di ingat2
think really hard

tapi tetep ga inget

berulang kali nanya ke diri sendiri
kok bisa??

tapi tetep ga nemu jawabannya

maaf ya...

~dee~

kayaknya emang ak late bloomer kali ya..
baru sekarang ngerti pentingnya nabung
baru sekarang ngerasain susahnya beli rumah
kenapa ga kepikiran dari dulu2 juga

pusink..
dari harga
dari lokasi
dari ukuran

tambah di pikirin tambah mumet
huaaaaaa

pusink deh

k
a
n
g
e
n

miss u a lot

~dee~

now...
everything surround me are pulled away, sucked to another dimension
leaving behind you and me
just us
no prejudice
no race
no religion
just us
you and me in an empty space

let me enjoy the 'now'
even just for one second
so I can treasure it for life

~dee~